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The thing I regret the most is forcing him to become a person he was not. And the pain of it is unendurable. Yes, there are different kinds of pain but the most agonizing is the pain of regret, for which there is no lasting relief and no remedy.
He loved me. I love him. But I forced him and sucked away all his love for me and it became a thing which I was desperately trying to hold but it kept slipping through my fingers, and I blamed him for it. Blamed him for not choosing me. Mentally tortured him into loving me again and again.
I understood now. But I would never fully understand how I could have ever strayed from such a warm, beautiful and caring soul and I will always regret it and wait for his return. Just once more...
He loved me. I love him. But I forced him and sucked away all his love for me and it became a thing which I was desperately trying to hold but it kept slipping through my fingers, and I blamed him for it. Blamed him for not choosing me. Mentally tortured him into loving me again and again.
I understood now. But I would never fully understand how I could have ever strayed from such a warm, beautiful and caring soul and I will always regret it and wait for his return. Just once more...
Lmao
I haven't written a DA journal since I was 17 and now I'm 19??? ~oopsiesplz (https://www.deviantart.com/oopsiesplz)
So obviously I'm not on DA as much as I should be lmao but I'm at home taking care of my baby girl (who's actually a toddler now!!) and if I'm not at home being mommy-of-the-year, I'm at my new job
That's right. Ya girl got a job. Hells yeah.
Anyways, y'all can hmu in my notes to tell me what's up!
Love you guys
:iconmuahplz:
Update
Hey guys,
This is just a journal letting you all know that I am not dead yet, and that I'm sorry for not posting very much ~CriezPlz (https://www.deviantart.com/criezplz)
I've been super busy with Nova (my bouncing baby girl!:heart:) and school (which f*cking sucks)
I'm super behind in a couple of my courses, and I have to have them done by the end of May (so... in 22 days :iconscreamingplz:)
I'm also behind in my writing class, as I have to illustrate a childrens book that I wrote, and I have to illustrate a poetry book :iconsadlaplz: I'm so sick of drawing!
ALSO, it's my birthday in 11 days, and I'm pretty excited.:iconwatplz:
I'm probably going to get a tattoo befo
Stolen tag lmao
I am very bored oh geez so I'm doing a tag oh geez
--I am apparently a very bad person according to this--
[/ ] smoked
[/] consumed alcohol
[/ ] slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
[/ ] slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
[/ ] kissed someone of the same sex
[/ ] kissed someone of the opposite sex
[/ ] had someone in your room other than family
[/ ] watched porn (When I'm trying to get boyfriends attention, I blast lesbian porn. His apartment has thin walls)
[ ] bought porn
[ /] tried drugs
TOTAL SO FAR: 9
[/ ] taken painkillers
[ ] taken someone else's prescription medicine
[/] lied
Tagged B)
I got tagged by the lovely ~xXPetunia-I-Luv-UXx (https://www.deviantart.com/xxpetunia-i-luv-uxx) :heart:
Natural Hair Colour:
[] Black - $5
[] Blonde - $100
[] Red - $150
[X] Brown - $15 (I THINK?? I haven't had it in years :o )
[] Other - $10
Eye Colour:
[] Blue - $50
[] Hazel - $100
[X] Brown - $15 (Light brown and gold!)
[] Green - $200
[] Other - $10
Height:
[] Over 7' - $200
[] 6'8" to 7' - $175
[] 6'0" to 6'7" - $150
[X] 5'5" to 5'11" - $75 (I BARELY fall into this one... 5'11" >_> )
[] 4'9" to 5'4" - $50
[] Under 4'9 - $105
Age:
[] N/A - $0
[] 41 to 50 - $150
[] 31 to 40 - $100
[] 26 to 30 - $75
[] 21 to 25 - $50
[] 19 to 20 - $25
[X] 0 to 18 - $100 (So young :ico
© 2015 - 2024 Skystone99
Comments2
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been there
nothing more crazy then love and that level of emotions
people say not to live with regrets but that's what we do cause we are humans we make mistakes
from them we learn ... by trying not to do them again we go stronger and loveable ...
waiting ...time collapsing ...millions of wanderings echoing in your soul mind and heart ... too much things to deal with the why and wherefores
but you are great ...you'll shine
take your time breath live fight love ^^
nothing more crazy then love and that level of emotions
people say not to live with regrets but that's what we do cause we are humans we make mistakes
from them we learn ... by trying not to do them again we go stronger and loveable ...
waiting ...time collapsing ...millions of wanderings echoing in your soul mind and heart ... too much things to deal with the why and wherefores
but you are great ...you'll shine
take your time breath live fight love ^^