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Laughing JackDarkened pathways
The air is tinted
A creature of stories
A mind set to kill
There is nothing to compare
To the blood I spill
The time has come
To bloody those streams
I creep up behind her
Clicking long claws
I take another step
Then I take a pause
Her fear sparks
She turns around
My face is seen in the dark
My claws slash to the ground
Her eyes no longer dried
I laugh all the while
Her mouth opens wide
Spilling out bile
Her body is found at dawn
Candy spilling out her sides
Skin as pale as a swan
Jaw unhinged in silent cries
The air is no longer tinted
WhyWhy was I given life
If it was to be so difficult
Through it all?
Why was I given the ability to Dream
If my own mind would twist against me
And wake me up ready to be sick?
Why was I given the thoughts to kill myself
If everybody knew I couldn’t do it?
Why am I here
Placed on the Earth
Where it feels as if everybody hates me
Where it feels like all friends are fake?
Where my mind has become so twisted
That I feel, hear, smell, taste and see things that aren’t really there
So I could become a plaything.
Something to mess up so badly,
It’s view of reality is distorted
So I could live through Hell
Until I finally went there
And live it all over again
So I could hate myself
So I could be alive
Yet not living
But not aware
Yet not really there.
So easy to cut
It sounds like ripping fabric
If you go through enough layers at a time
Blood is dripping down my legs now
Why is it so pretty to watch?
It’s as if we were meant to hurt ourselves
To see that beautiful red liquid
It’s splashing on the floor now
Creating little blotches on the floor
My carpet is the canvas
My blood being the paint
My knife was taken
I’m using a sharp tack
Until I can buy a new
It’s not the same
The tack was dirty
My bloodstream infested
My leg is gone now
I’ll be soon too
I can’t stop myself
More puncture holes
Live on my skin
Why is this so fun
I’m fading now
I don’t have long
This was fun whilst it lasted
Please take the tack, young one
You’ll need it
I Hate MyselfI hate myself
That’s all there is to it
But I have enough respect for my family
To not let it show
I cut my hair instead of my skin
I hit myself and throw myself on the ground
To make it look more natural
My friends noticed
They asked why I was always covered in cuts and bruises
I told them I fall a lot
That I’m unstable
Not a lie
I’m always tripping myself
And my mind
I’m not ready to leave
I can’t kill myself yet
But I plan to leave this world
But to know that I’ve saved
So many of my friends lives
I can’t let their hearts die with me
I won’t eat during the day
Eating only at dinner
So my mom doesn't find out
Yet I’ll still eat so little
I’ll stay inside all day
Wasting my life
Staying up all night
Sleeping until the afternoon
My sleeping habits have reason
Nightmares plague my mind
If I stay up late enough
I won’t dream at all
Yet there are still people who bring out
An alive version of me
It's too LateThe brilliant blue of the sea
The salty tang to the wind
Fish jumping thru the air,
Enjoying their freedom
The sun glitters across the water
Reflecting into my brown eyes
The wind pushes my short hair back
And I jump off the cliff
Down I fall,
My white gown streams around me
As I go underwater
The fish dart away
The sun disappears
The wind can't reach me
I'm gone from the world I knew
And I've sunk to the bottom of the new
There's no traces of me now
But I'm not ready to leave
I kick to the surface
"I'm not ready"
Almost dead I break to the air
Waves wash over me
Dragging me under again
I kick forward
"Please" I beg silently
"Please don't let me die"
I sink down
"It's too late"
The last bubbles of life escape
And I let darkness consume
"It's too late."
I don't need themThe birds are chirping
The green grass is growing
It's so happy outside
So I stay in.
I stay in my room
Alone like I always am
My room is my cave
Where I hide from everyone
Dark thoughts surround me
"He didn't want me"
"Nobody likes me"
"I should just die"
I feel hollow with heartache
"He didn't want me"
Everything passes in a blur
I start sleeping and eating less
I listen to music all the time
"Nobody likes me"
More people start avoiding me
Staring at me like I was a freak
"I should just die"
Nobody likes me anyways
People use me to get food, gifts and attention
I hate this life
But then the people started being kind
Seeming like they cared
It almost felt real
Except for the lies
Friendship has no real values anymore
All those girls are fake, gossiping bitches
They don't need me
And I don't need them.
A message to the brokenYou drown yourself
in liquid sorrows,
letting the salty mess
burn your wounds,
and the sadness
to drip in your mouth,
consuming your words
and you say
you deserve the pain,
but I want to dry your face,
and whisper in your ear
how the clouds cry too,
while they hold such beauty,
and so do you.
Pretty metaphors are for pretty girlsI told you to stop
spewing pretty metaphors at me,
for with each elaborate comparison,
I feel a bit more
detached from this world
And maybe I don’t feel so strong at the moment,
but would you be
if you felt like the entire universe
was resting upon your shoulders,
and someone was just there saying:
But you’re stronger than the powerful beats
of a butterfly’s wings
And maybe I do need more confidence,
but would you exuberate it
when the part you hated most about yourself
were the freckles that have speckled your face for years,
and someone was just there muttering:
They’re not flaws,
but rather stars that form constellations
Yes, I can’t help but hate
all those unrealistic metaphors
you choose to pelt at me when I’m low,
yet the irony is,
I know that those beautiful words
are realistic in your eyes,
So I can’t hate you.
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
dark circlesi haven't slept well in 14 days
my eyes droop pretty colors
'50 shades of purple and grey,
they're bags and they're designer'
making jokes is how i cope
with chapped lips and constant chap-stick
it tastes like honey and mint
i laugh and say i'm addicted.
hooded lids and sleepy smiles
during lunch at subway
my friends ask if I'm okay
I say that I'm just tired.
but really when I see him with her
my heart sinks to the tiles
she's pretty and witty and sure as hell she can sing
and i'm just a loud bone-collector.
when I see her with him,
dancing and laughing and grinning,
the ring on her finger
laughs at my singularity.
for as much as i lie and as much as i try
my loneliness still creeps in,
because no matter how much they protest,
i'm still the lowly fifth-wheel.
walking behind them on sidewalks
that are wide, but built for four
smiles and laughs when they look back
but the frown creeps evermore.
pelvis peaks through paper-thin skin
and knuckles white and pale
my ribs are empty, my bo
Clear WristA clear wrist, barren of scars,
as opposed to skin sauntered in marks,
tells a trickier story than it's soiled and raw,
uncaring, unkempt counter part.
Bravery, I think it holds,
the strength to bare unimaginable loads
of pain and suffering through endless times,
and withstanding the agony of sleepless nights.
Some think it is fear, the reluctance to cut,
but I believe it opposite, it show courage and guts.
To bear your pain without a nick on your wrist,
is like a solider braving his terrain while being torn limb from limb.
Agonizing as it is, to hide your pain,
you do it so well, and no attention you'll gain.
At the end of the day, it's not cry for attention,
rather a cry for the victory that's silently mentioned.
Your scars are those not self inflicted,
and despite the gnawing intention,
to harm yourself and ease your pain,
the scars you earn are rightfully gained.
In a room of those who have jumped the gun,
and left traces of blood deep in their arms,
do not be tempted to do the sam
Monster you areWe were friends
till the day i died inside
I told you i loved you
And that you stole my heart
But in reality
you ripped it from me
revealing the monster you really are
Destroying my love
And killing my trust
We never talked again
not the same way we would laugh
And joke about the little things
You destroyed a big thing
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