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Laughing JackDarkened pathways
The air is tinted
A creature of stories
A mind set to kill
There is nothing to compare
To the blood I spill
The time has come
To bloody those streams
I creep up behind her
Clicking long claws
I take another step
Then I take a pause
Her fear sparks
She turns around
My face is seen in the dark
My claws slash to the ground
Her eyes no longer dried
I laugh all the while
Her mouth opens wide
Spilling out bile
Her body is found at dawn
Candy spilling out her sides
Skin as pale as a swan
Jaw unhinged in silent cries
The air is no longer tinted
WhyWhy was I given life
If it was to be so difficult
Through it all?
Why was I given the ability to Dream
If my own mind would twist against me
And wake me up ready to be sick?
Why was I given the thoughts to kill myself
If everybody knew I couldn’t do it?
Why am I here
Placed on the Earth
Where it feels as if everybody hates me
Where it feels like all friends are fake?
Where my mind has become so twisted
That I feel, hear, smell, taste and see things that aren’t really there
So I could become a plaything.
Something to mess up so badly,
It’s view of reality is distorted
So I could live through Hell
Until I finally went there
And live it all over again
So I could hate myself
So I could be alive
Yet not living
But not aware
Yet not really there.
So easy to cut
It sounds like ripping fabric
If you go through enough layers at a time
Blood is dripping down my legs now
Why is it so pretty to watch?
It’s as if we were meant to hurt ourselves
To see that beautiful red liquid
It’s splashing on the floor now
Creating little blotches on the floor
My carpet is the canvas
My blood being the paint
My knife was taken
I’m using a sharp tack
Until I can buy a new
It’s not the same
The tack was dirty
My bloodstream infested
My leg is gone now
I’ll be soon too
I can’t stop myself
More puncture holes
Live on my skin
Why is this so fun
I’m fading now
I don’t have long
This was fun whilst it lasted
Please take the tack, young one
You’ll need it
I Hate MyselfI hate myself
That’s all there is to it
But I have enough respect for my family
To not let it show
I cut my hair instead of my skin
I hit myself and throw myself on the ground
To make it look more natural
My friends noticed
They asked why I was always covered in cuts and bruises
I told them I fall a lot
That I’m unstable
Not a lie
I’m always tripping myself
And my mind
I’m not ready to leave
I can’t kill myself yet
But I plan to leave this world
But to know that I’ve saved
So many of my friends lives
I can’t let their hearts die with me
I won’t eat during the day
Eating only at dinner
So my mom doesn't find out
Yet I’ll still eat so little
I’ll stay inside all day
Wasting my life
Staying up all night
Sleeping until the afternoon
My sleeping habits have reason
Nightmares plague my mind
If I stay up late enough
I won’t dream at all
Yet there are still people who bring out
An alive version of me
It's too LateThe brilliant blue of the sea
The salty tang to the wind
Fish jumping thru the air,
Enjoying their freedom
The sun glitters across the water
Reflecting into my brown eyes
The wind pushes my short hair back
And I jump off the cliff
Down I fall,
My white gown streams around me
As I go underwater
The fish dart away
The sun disappears
The wind can't reach me
I'm gone from the world I knew
And I've sunk to the bottom of the new
There's no traces of me now
But I'm not ready to leave
I kick to the surface
"I'm not ready"
Almost dead I break to the air
Waves wash over me
Dragging me under again
I kick forward
"Please" I beg silently
"Please don't let me die"
I sink down
"It's too late"
The last bubbles of life escape
And I let darkness consume
"It's too late."
I don't need themThe birds are chirping
The green grass is growing
It's so happy outside
So I stay in.
I stay in my room
Alone like I always am
My room is my cave
Where I hide from everyone
Dark thoughts surround me
"He didn't want me"
"Nobody likes me"
"I should just die"
I feel hollow with heartache
"He didn't want me"
Everything passes in a blur
I start sleeping and eating less
I listen to music all the time
"Nobody likes me"
More people start avoiding me
Staring at me like I was a freak
"I should just die"
Nobody likes me anyways
People use me to get food, gifts and attention
I hate this life
But then the people started being kind
Seeming like they cared
It almost felt real
Except for the lies
Friendship has no real values anymore
All those girls are fake, gossiping bitches
They don't need me
And I don't need them.
It's Okay to be ImperfectThe moon
Stand Against SuicideI know the pain is perhaps unbearable,
But darling, please put down the blade.
Release your emotions through tears and smiles,
Rather than dreading these days.
Do it for the little girl, whose mother can’t be there,
Or for the boy whose father drank too much.
For the boy who can’t sit in elementary school,
Because the bruises from Daddy hurt to touch.
For the teenage girl lying face down in her bed,
Thinking, why can’t it all be done?
For the elderly man looking up at the stars,
Counting the days one by one.
Do it for the children who wonder, does it end?
For the ones who feel left on their own.
For the ones who think, maybe it wouldn’t be so hard
If I didn’t feel so left alone.
And finally, do it for one other person,
The person in front of these words.
Because you’ll never know how it gets better
When focusing on pain and hurt.
Live one more day, dear, for them and for you,
And I swear to you, problems will fade.
I know, for right now, it’s p
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
I Thought I Needed FeminismI thought I needed feminism, when I was a little girl.
And I am very sad to admit, that this wasn't very long ago.
I thought when he held the door open for me, that he was making a big mistake.
That he was being a pompous ass, and he took my strength for a fake.
And when he offered to pay my tab, I still called him an ass.
Because I thought he assumed I was poor, and below middle class.
Or when his hard work earned him a promotion,
yet I did nothing, and the boss' ignorance to promote me, I believed was a sexist notion.
My friend really wanted feminism when she found her ex-dead drunk,
removed his clothes, and without his consent, had a pleasurable fuck.
When her parents bust into the room unexpected that night,
she said he raped her, and he was arrested without so much as a fight.
Perhaps feminism was there when I walked out into the street in pure nudity,
and shouted the my neighbors “You have no right to judge me!”
I didn't care about the children who were standing in th
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
DifferentDifferent on the outside,
Different mask you see daily,
Different girl you call ‘Hailey’
To my surprise
Your ears are distracted,
So I tell lies, looking into your eyes,
“Yea I’m fine. Simply tired”
For that response my brain is wired.
Different mouth you hear speaking,
Different voice you hear screaming
Different eyes you see pleading,
Different person you’d befriended
I’m sorry this is how it’s ended.
Monster you areWe were friends
till the day i died inside
I told you i loved you
And that you stole my heart
But in reality
you ripped it from me
revealing the monster you really are
Destroying my love
And killing my trust
We never talked again
not the same way we would laugh
And joke about the little things
You destroyed a big thing
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