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WhyWhy was I given life
If it was to be so difficult
Through it all?
Why was I given the ability to Dream
If my own mind would twist against me
And wake me up ready to be sick?
Why was I given the thoughts to kill myself
If everybody knew I couldn’t do it?
Why am I here
Placed on the Earth
Where it feels as if everybody hates me
Where it feels like all friends are fake?
Where my mind has become so twisted
That I feel, hear, smell, taste and see things that aren’t really there
So I could become a plaything.
Something to mess up so badly,
It’s view of reality is distorted
So I could live through Hell
Until I finally went there
And live it all over again
So I could hate myself
So I could be alive
Yet not living
But not aware
Yet not really there.
So easy to cut
It sounds like ripping fabric
If you go through enough layers at a time
Blood is dripping down my legs now
Why is it so pretty to watch?
It’s as if we were meant to hurt ourselves
To see that beautiful red liquid
It’s splashing on the floor now
Creating little blotches on the floor
My carpet is the canvas
My blood being the paint
My knife was taken
I’m using a sharp tack
Until I can buy a new
It’s not the same
The tack was dirty
My bloodstream infested
My leg is gone now
I’ll be soon too
I can’t stop myself
More puncture holes
Live on my skin
Why is this so fun
I’m fading now
I don’t have long
This was fun whilst it lasted
Please take the tack, young one
You’ll need it
I Hate MyselfI hate myself
That’s all there is to it
But I have enough respect for my family
To not let it show
I cut my hair instead of my skin
I hit myself and throw myself on the ground
To make it look more natural
My friends noticed
They asked why I was always covered in cuts and bruises
I told them I fall a lot
That I’m unstable
Not a lie
I’m always tripping myself
And my mind
I’m not ready to leave
I can’t kill myself yet
But I plan to leave this world
But to know that I’ve saved
So many of my friends lives
I can’t let their hearts die with me
I won’t eat during the day
Eating only at dinner
So my mom doesn't find out
Yet I’ll still eat so little
I’ll stay inside all day
Wasting my life
Staying up all night
Sleeping until the afternoon
My sleeping habits have reason
Nightmares plague my mind
If I stay up late enough
I won’t dream at all
Yet there are still people who bring out
An alive version of me
It's too LateThe brilliant blue of the sea
The salty tang to the wind
Fish jumping thru the air,
Enjoying their freedom
The sun glitters across the water
Reflecting into my brown eyes
The wind pushes my short hair back
And I jump off the cliff
Down I fall,
My white gown streams around me
As I go underwater
The fish dart away
The sun disappears
The wind can't reach me
I'm gone from the world I knew
And I've sunk to the bottom of the new
There's no traces of me now
But I'm not ready to leave
I kick to the surface
"I'm not ready"
Almost dead I break to the air
Waves wash over me
Dragging me under again
I kick forward
"Please" I beg silently
"Please don't let me die"
I sink down
"It's too late"
The last bubbles of life escape
And I let darkness consume
"It's too late."
I don't need themThe birds are chirping
The green grass is growing
It's so happy outside
So I stay in.
I stay in my room
Alone like I always am
My room is my cave
Where I hide from everyone
Dark thoughts surround me
"He didn't want me"
"Nobody likes me"
"I should just die"
I feel hollow with heartache
"He didn't want me"
Everything passes in a blur
I start sleeping and eating less
I listen to music all the time
"Nobody likes me"
More people start avoiding me
Staring at me like I was a freak
"I should just die"
Nobody likes me anyways
People use me to get food, gifts and attention
I hate this life
But then the people started being kind
Seeming like they cared
It almost felt real
Except for the lies
Friendship has no real values anymore
All those girls are fake, gossiping bitches
They don't need me
And I don't need them.
ChangeI look at myself in the mirror
And notice how much I've changed
For better or for worse
I had changed to get more attention
To not look like a slob
Or little kid
I changed my personality
So I wasn't a freak-show
I changed the way I look at the world
I see the world as a dark place
War, death, broken hearts
Is this for better of for worse?
I can't stand to walk outside
And see the fake smiles
Even if mine is fake too
And I can't go back
I've learned about the kinds of monsters in this world
I've learned how this place is bitter with murder
I've learned to not trust anyone
I've learned to not be yourself
I've learned to be fake
I hate this place
I need to escape
But I can't
That would mean I've lost to the world
I can try to go back
Re-live my memories
But reality would hit me harder
Squeeze my heart a little tighter
Eat my soul a little more
Warp my mind
Send me back to the darkened places
I roamed before
I could continue
Pretend to fit in with the groups
.the sun did not
kiss my skin
yesterday, he slept
face around noon
and then went back
to bed; the
midnight aches and inside strangersevery night
I wake up to strangers
(No, it's not what you think.
These aren't one-
or tequila lungs
They're the oaths
kept in the
depths of my
of the fears
the dearest dreams
slithering my spine]
these are the cups
in my sorrows
in the riverbed
of a throat
from the vine garden
they found a way
They are the ones
in my blood
shuddering my bones
There's no fright.
folded like a contortionist
in my chest
while the moon
my sky's pendant,
and just listens.
IciclesWarm, soft air,
Breath as a ghost on the breeze
condensing into a fine mist,
Dancing bitter pirouettes
and whispering silken omens,
as petals in the snow.
Cold, hard earth,
Crunching miniature cities
with a single, gentle footfall,
Loping, silent, singing
liquid silver racing,
Urgent, fateful missions
as glacial rivers flow.
Delicate, crystal bells,
Delightful, intricate daggers
deceiving battered flesh,
Garnished, bruised, marked
fantastic rainbow shades,
Radiating fractures leak
as veins of shattered pearl.
Harsh, rasping nails,
Driving blizzards shrieking
blue, murderous claws,
Acute fangs clenching
against blasphemous vows,
Fall to the depths
of ostracised perdition.
Trying to HuntThere was a tear sometime into winter
It was deep onyx and browbeaten
Bleeding murk that grayed the snow,
In an unknown portion of the cedars;
Cold filled the sandwich up with slime.
“Time” said Rex, “the seer of all things
has found you out.” (Trudging went the boots)
Winter looked soft but wetly it chaffed, it made
One’s feet miserable; the gun kept slipping
And the jacket decided to forgo its warmth.
There was no grand effulgence amongst the Ether,
There was no “I” in the clouds; what was one hunting?
Geese they flew in an echelon that burned in white
Every year feeling it out, knowing better; ‘they must feel
Love? They bond for life;’ no “I” was in the cloud.
Horrible is a truth that one can find, reflected in
A swath of nature, there is no help in the hollows
Or the brooks, no solace when blood is in one’s ears
Consciousness buzzed along, and breath labored;
One listened to the heartbeat atop the clinkin
What if the sky had feelings
And it's clouds were its face
If it rained, it was sad
It it was clear, she was glad
If it was dark and stormy, she was mad
But I wait everyday
For it to one day just snow
Eventually it would snow on a grey sky
The sky was exceptionally sad today
It was winter and no one liked the cold
She felt lonely and empty
And kept her clouds just as grey almost everyday
Because no one seemed to care anymore like they used too
One day she thought maybe it was time to wake up
Maybe bring in something beautiful she recently created
It started snowing, scared that no one would think it was beautiful
It was just a light snowfall
She was wrong, the light ice crystals that fell from the sky pleased many
Finally, she felt welcomed by the fellow people
And her heart had felt warm and less alone
She smiled in the winter
Because she felt accepted
(In general I enjoy winter, yes it's quite lonely and well that's me xD but I think it's a beautiful season, don't judge it by
SeasonsH-hi my name is Spring..
people like call me Shy a lot..
im the most calm of all 4..
normally I hate to talk but,
ill bring in a little chat..
sometimes if im not making my drizzle entrance,
ill put up a kite in the breezy sky..
its very peaceful during my time,
maybe even putting some freshly new flowers
while wearing my green wispy dress.
even though me and autumn don't have a lot of time,
ill make sure nature will show who i really am by then..
Hello! The name's Summer!
people love to call me outgoing!
I'm the pretty radical season here guys.
haha yo im not afraid of others,
so I ain't worried of chatting with folks!
ill bring in my sizzling heat entrance (whoops!)
with a friendly atmosphere during my period!
eh ill just put on my Muse hat + sunglasses
along with my epic shirt n' pants
luckily me and winter last for a while
so hopefully the heat and fun will help shows me off!..
*Sigh* oh sorry, im Autumn
the complaining folks calle
winterIt is 21 degrees Fahrenheit outside
and the air shudders in its icy grip:
pine needles frosted in fairy dust
and breath lost in the elegance of silver spiderwebs.
Ice, white and black, coats sidewalks,
sliding dogs' paws out from under their owners
and disappointing children in its solidity;
ponds drip like spoiled milk onto the pelts
of voles burrowed in their homes for the winter.
Harrowed birds flutter and squabble
over the remainder of seeds lost
under a bench by the rats' nest.
They wheel and peck above summer-flung stones
hurled on a day when a different kind of pond froze.
Little Bird, Little birdAlast i gaze upon the sparrow
Sitting upon my window sill
It cocks its head slightly to and fro
Seeing more than I
I close my tired eyes to listen
I open my mouth to sing
"Little bird, little bird
Where have you been?
Have you been over the hills?
Or up to the moon?
Little bird little bird
Where do you go?
Around the tree tops?
Or down to the white snow?
Little bird, little bird
You must leave me now
Come tell me your story again
And sing it to the world
Little bird, little bird
I now bid you goodbye"
The sparrow pauses
And opens it wings to fly
It sings back my melody
As if saying
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More